Claims

I have friends who have claimed to get in to fights. Not just scuffles outside night-clubs but full-on movie-style brawls with stuff getting smashed, blood going everywhere and all that carnage. Ones where the crowd begins with cheering, and after a while the cheering dies down as everyone begins to realize that this is serious. You probably have friends like this too. So what do they all – both my friends and your friends that is – share in common? Not a difficult question. Usually they have these characteristics: they’re hot-headed, not afraid to speak their mind, and look like they can throw a good punch. In other words, they are the people you want around you when a ‘situation’ arises. Or are they?

A situation arose the other day for me. Broad daylight in town, Kev and I were walking down the street past a running accessories store when a gang of youths rushed out from around the corner and half knocked Kev over. One of them said something as he went, and Kev answered it with a “what’s your problem mate?”

Now, I thought I was in capable hands at this point, but then–I hadn’t seen Kev’s face. I felt safe for about a nano-second, until ‘I ain’t afraid of nothing Kev’ turned to me and whispered “Leg it!” And so we did, we legged and legged it. Until eventually the youths were lost and so were we – we were stuck down some dingy passage-way I had never seen, hiding (make that cowering actually) behind a bin.

I turned to I ain’t afraid of nothing Kev and said, “Kev?”

“What now?” he asked, still badly shaken.

“I thought you were tough as nails!” I replied.

He sank to the floor making a moaning noise. Then he looked up. “I am usually,” he said, “but those were teenagers! Everyone knows not to mess with them!”